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Sin-cerely, Satan

I am the Ruler of Hell. I'm pretty mean, love my blog

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either that was a firework or another tribute is dead 


I volunteered at an animal shelter yesterday and while I was hosing down the dozenth dirty dog kennel I thought to myself “why am I doing this without pay again?” and then I walked into the room with like 15 kittens in it and they all started meowing at me and I was like, yes, that’s why


this is an appreciation post for anyone who has ever tolerated me


My talents include being able to identify every one of the 5000 songs on my iPod by the first chord and eating more than the rest of my family combined


I saw this post in Facebook with the caption “apparently Mac supports windows” and I cried




can we please destroy this idea that a person has to talk to you every minute of every day to like you

texting all day is not natural

force communication all hours of the day is not natural

All of you, Get a hobby that is not another person. Its vital.

this makes me feel so much better

Anonymous Asked:
heeeey satan, thanks for all u do. i am a big fan.

My answer:

Glad to hear it


writing tip: if in doubt add more dragons. if not in doubt add more dragons. dragons dragons dragons. “but it wouldn’t work out” I hear you say YOU ARE WRONG AND NEED THREE MORE DRAGONS “but it’s a romantic drama” you tell me well tough cookies friend you’re gonna need like eight more dragons. nine more. like maybe twelve. DRAGONS



so i bought this chocolate lollipop
and this is what i fucking got

instagram vs. real life


do you ever shift in bed slightly and suddenly youre in the most perfect sleeping position ever and you feel like the fucking planets are aligned



opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples

everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant 

But all you ever see are men’s


this is how i do friendship